Shared by a reader:
“I’m a sophmore in college and can’t seem to shake the habit. Truth is I’m a girl… is this normal? I just want to stop, and stop feeling the need to “have to”. I feel so bad and empty after I do. Uh, not fun. answers? suggetions? comments? anything?”
Addiction to pornography is often portrayed as a man’s problem, but many women struggle with it as well. So it is not abnormal at all to be faced with this issue as a girl in college. After reading your comment I read some articles on the internet and came across this one from a female author that discusses the rise in girls struggling with pornography: View the Article.
I also came across a blog that shares about a girl with struggled with pornography for 8 years and is now 8 years into recovery and is sharing her story at conferences (View her Blog). When reading her blog you have to sort through a lot of random posts to get to the good stuff, but I think you will find it helpful because she talks about how difficult it was to share her problem at first and then eventually she was able to overcome that and it helped her in recovering.
It is a tough problem to have in college — that is where my struggles began. College can be stressful and that can lead up to times of temptation so my advice would be to try and get as much exercise as possbile to release tension. You should also think back to what lead to the episodes where you gave in to the temptation and how those could be avoided. If it tends to happen when you feel alone perhaps calling family or friends would be a good substitute.
Shaking the habit isn’t easy, but it can be done. I really didn’t think I would get over it but here I am typing at the computer in my office at 11 pm with my wife in bed — two years ago if I was alone at the computer at night I know the thought would have at least crossed my mind to look at pornography and 90% of the time that would have led to my acting on those thoughts and feeling empty.
I tried porn (adult bookstores) once in early adulthood, shortly after a rape (the then-boyfriend, who had been pushing me to sleep with him, dumped me after he blamed me for what happened). Then I let it go. I thought I was done with it.
Later, a boyfriend thought some trips to adult bookstores would be just great for the relationship. And another boyfriend later told me that he had porn.
I have been out of a relationship for several years. But late last year, I grew curious again. First the videos, then the chatrooms. All places I thought I would NEVER go. And now it’s hard NOT to go. Now it’s hard to let it go, even though I KNOW it’s wrong–but I know I must let it go.
By: kitkat on March 3, 2011
at 3:31 pm
Thank you for the link over to Dirty Girls Ministries. Our blog is just one of the resources have for women who are in the throes of this addiction. Including a brand new online community. We thank you for referring your readers to us.
Blessings to you.
Crystal Renaud
Director of Dirty Girls Ministries
By: Crystal Renaud on September 21, 2010
at 5:48 pm
Oh we know the feeling. The emptiness and guilt afterward. You know, I have had to conquer additions in my life, like smoking and drinking and so on. I have luckily been able to do it. But porno a bit tougher because of those normal bodily urges humans have.
I did it though and am so thankful that the desire is just not there any longer. How? Some people look at God and the angels as a crutch, but I can tell you it’s the opposite. They are a powerful resource that can empower you beyond expectations.
When you’re thinking about these things, be quiet, breathe deep, and let your guardian angel help you make the decision. You will be amazed over time, it won’t take long, for you to make the right decisions and with a smile on your face! I mean it. You will become a natural response to ignore the temptation until you will suddenly notice, it’s gone.
That’s what happened to me. It helped me shift those tempting times to other things, such as observing what is going on in the inner life (within myself) and listening to others and treat them with love…and not with the possibility of lust.
It’s a beautiful new world when you make that transition and truth, beauty and goodness of life will blossom.
By: Bob on September 12, 2010
at 9:07 am